• Becca

Wisdom

One of the most valuable lessons I learned in my youth came from Noah's father. He didn't intentionally set out to teach me this lesson, but through observation at the time he was in my life and my own maturity now long after it's made a fairly significant impact in recent months: silent stoicism in the face of irrational opposition. I haven't quite mastered the SILENT part of this (clearly here I am writing) but I'm getting much less quick with my tongue/pen and much more resilient in the face of those who try to provoke my anger or trigger my PTSD.


Which leads me to my next point: A few weeks ago when I addressed Noah, I was wrong. There has been an increase in my traffic as I've consolidated my social media, but it wasn't him. It was designed to leave that impression to get me to react, which I did, but with new information coming to light I realized my mistake.


Now, I stand by my decision to have a conversation until the original deadline. I made the commitment, and I'm going to stand by it. I've also come to realize that having a conversation is probably not the best option for us to continue moving forward. The best option is what we've done since our last interaction. Cut everything off, cauterize the wounds and do our best to manage the scars and associated sting.


Noah and I had(ve) our closure regarding the events during our relationship. There is remaining conflict, but it doesn't really have anything to do with us or our time together as a couple. We've become involved in this conflict, but it isn't our issue to address. All the conversations in the world, no matter how civil or productive won't contribute to a solution, it would be emotionally taxing for both of us, and it's not worth the headache. Which I always knew, but misinterpreting the data I had, I doubted myself.


That's the great thing about making mistakes. You can learn from them and build value for the rest of your life. If you're open to admitting you made a mistake in the first place anyway. You can't do much for those who refuse to admit their faults, except smile politely and excuse yourself to focus on other more important endeavors.


And with that... you'll have to excuse me. I have work to do.




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